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• dim the light = make the light less bright
• portion something out 나누다
• turbulent 난기류의, 요동치는
• unsolicited [언쏠리씨틷] not asked for
• die hard 쉽게 죽지않는, a diehard 쉽게 고집 꺾지 않는 사람 꿋꿋하게 no matter what
• on deck = ready for action/available
• rile up = annoy, upset, angry // hyperactive-excited in an uncontrolled way
• nothing to write home about = not exciting or special = ordinary
• impede 방해하다, 어렵게하다, 더디게하다
• for good measure = in addition 이미 한 것에 추가로
• (bring) call something to mind 기억하다
• take heart (from) = feel encouraged
• sum up 요약하다

My head is really messed up now. This is coming from uncertainty. This state of my mind impedes everything I'm trying to do right now. I was so stressed and I dimmed the light of my room. I'm in turbulent. I'm waiting for two emails, and the only notifications I get is unsolicited ads. My mentor asked me how things were going and I said it was nothing to write home about If i was summing it up. He told me to make sure send them another email reminder for good measure. And I took heart from the conversation with him a lot. Thinking of being ghosted by them really riles me up. My heart keeps plummeting everytime I hear notification sounds. This calls some bad memorise to mind. There was nothing insurmountable so far, I know this will shall pass. I shouldn't die hard. If i need to search another opportunity, I'm on deck. When I ran out of money, I can take out my nest egg and portion it out for rainy days.

"We have to portion out the stew if we're going to feed all these guests."
"Instead of receiving the lottery winnings in one lump sum, I asked them to portion it out to me for the next 20 years."

A turbulent marriage, a turbulent week

unsolicited advice, old habits die hard.

Although he's shy, it certainly hasn't impeded his career in any way.

"one more, for good measure!" "Why don't we try phoning them one more time for good measure?"

"I'd just lilke to sum up by saying that it's been a tremendous pleasure to work with you."

book - Call to mind their faces and names.

• talk down to 깔보면서 얘기하다, 바보한테 말하듯 쉽게 말하다
• at the top of one's lung = as loudly as possible
• as plain as the nose on your face = very obvious
• take sides 편을 들다(general 한 액션)  / take one's side 누구의 편을 들다
• mitigate 완화하다 경감시키다 (mitigation 은 선처로 사용되기도)
• buffer 완충하는 것 완충제
• sit through something 길거나 지루한 뭔가가 끝날때까지 앉아있다
• move the goalposts 더 유리하게 할려고 규칙을 마음대로 바꾸다
• feel stretched 여유없는(마감까지 시간과 리소스 부족으로 완전 팽팽하게 시간짜여짐)
• subordinate [넛] 덜 중요한, 하위의, 종속된
• partial 전체가 아닌 부분적으로/ 한 부분에 쏠린(기호, 개인적 선호도)
• consolidate 더 확실하게 만들다. 강화시키다 통합하다

At first I was grateful that I was hired by a foreign company. But because of the language issue, they talk down to me and I feel very stretched. Everyday is exhausting! Today I realised a client moved the goalposts about the contract. I was 100% in charge of this project and I tried to fix it since it was as plain as the nose on my face that they are taking advantage of my bad language skill. When my boss heard this he was beyond angry, he shouted at the top of his lung. I was really shaken up by that and just sat through the meeting holding back tears. I think I need to find a way to mitigate this problems that I keep creating. Now I'm preparing a lot of visual aids that could serve as a buffer for possible miscommunication. Although I'm only taking on subordinate projects, It's time to consolidate myself as a competent team member who pulls at least my own weight. I need to speak up when I detect partial decisions and take sides of people who genuinely care about the work. 

"I wish politicians wouldb't talk down to us as if we were idiots."
"She shouted at the top of her lungs."

as plain as the nose on your face: 얼굴에 있는 코 정도로 평평하다 (=튀어나와있다) 아주 구분이 쉬운만큼 명확하단 뜻

"We can't stop it, but we could mitigate it." "We need to mitigate the dissipation of resources"

"He had to sit through two hours of speeches."

"They seem to move the goal posts every time I meet the conditions which are required."

"They're already stretched to the limit." "The service is already stretched unless more doctors are in."

The individual's needs are subordinate to those of the group. a subordinate role, subordinate status. 

a partial solution, a partial payment, partly blindness, a partial refund
She's partial to tall men with blond hair.

"The two firms consolidated to form a single company." "He consolidated his position as a musician." "How can I consolidate all the scattered data?"

• labor dispute 노동분쟁
• chase down leads 기회,단서를 찾다. 잠재적 고객을 설득하다
• subcontract sth to sb 하청계약하다
• have a smooth-sailing experience 문제없는
• learn the ropes 일을 배우다
• revoke 공식적으로) 취소하다
• taint 망치다, 오염시키다 (성기와 항문 사이라는 뜻도 있음)
• trivial 하찮은, 중요하지 않은
• live out something 생각했거나 꿈꿨던 것을 하다
• savoring 음미하다, 풍미
• savory: 달지 않은 짠 맛, 풍미있는
• collapse 무너지다, 아파서 넘어지거나 쓰러지다
• tonally 톤에 맞는

A new hire collapsed at work by accumulated fatigue caused by constant overwork. I'm pretty sure this case gave all of us a chance to look back what we're doing. While chasing down leads, we couldn't take care of our employees and coworkers and their mental health. This led to the labor dispute. Human beings should be put first than anything else. Some employers were certainly living out their ambitions through employees thinking it's smooth-sailing. Many revoked their contract after this incident, and companies had to subcontract work to freelancers. Yet freelancers were not accustomed to company work, majority of them had to be learing the ropes in the end and now employers are realising they end up spending more. In this company, a whole design team quit and no one else could execute the sama level of work tonally afterwards. They're certainly savouring the sin, after they set themsleves up by finding people trivial. The taint of this kind wouldn't go away for a long time. 

outsourcing 은 주로 돈 혹은 리소스를 아낄 수 있는 외주이고 subcontract 는 내부에서 못하기 때문에 계약해서 다른 회사에 맡기는 것

Bacteria had tainted the meat. / His reputation was permanetly tainted by the scandal.

live out***
1. 생각했던 거 꿈 꾼 것: He began living out his rock n roll fantasy during his last year in law school. The money enabled them to live out their dreams.
2. 죽을때 까지 특정한 방법으로 살다: He lived out his life in solitude. She lived her life without a friend.

He savoured every mouthful. Savor everything that life has to offer. 

Buildings collapsed in the earthquake. / The chair collapsed under her weight. / He collapsed and died of a heart attack.

• do at one's own risk 감수하고 하다 (경고) do so at your own risk.
• all for it 전적으로 동감하여 = completely in favor of
• comprise A : A 로 구성되어있다
• line up behind 뒤로 줄서다
• ten to one 십중팔구
• needless to say 말할 필요도 없이, 당연한거지만
• in the main = in general
• loosen up 몸을 풀다 (신체적 활동 이전), 긴장을 풀다
• scurry off/around/away 작은 걸음으로 빨리 움직이다, (주로 숨어버리는.. 쥐 같은)
• be worlds apart 정 반대인, 지구 반대편 수준의, 다른 세계 수준으로 다른
• at the end of one's tether (rope) 한계에 있는
• caliber 기량, 재간, 우수성의 level (급, 수준, 클라스)

My roommate and I are so different that people say we are world apart. Although we haven't had fight yet, I feel life I'm at the end of my rope many times. I knew that we have different lifestyle before we get this place together. I was all for the idea living together in the sense that I could save up money, and moved in with her at my own risk. The house comprises her new furniture and stuff that came with the house in the main. And the apartment lining up behind other tall buildings is where people of high caliber live, so I wouldn't have had a chance to live in a place like this without her. So it was a big temptation. I was so keen to live together. Needless to say there were many problems. The house is pretty tense now and I wanna loosen up. I came home and I didn't know what to say so I scurried away to my room. I'm hearing water and ten to one she's gonna have a long shower. 

people of higher caliber/ teachers of high caliber 등의 형태로 쓰임

• mandate 명령하다/ 권한,임기 (선거에 의해서 국민들로 부터 주어진)
• carry on (with) 계속하다
• be obliged to 어쩔 수 없이 -하다, 해야할 것 같아서 -하다
• do your bit 도울 수 있는-할 수 있는 부분을 하다
• magnitude 많은 양, 중요성 / 별, 지진 측정 단위
• bleak 암울한, 텅 비고 썰렁한
• a dry run 리허설, 시험운영
• farm something out to -에게 맡기다, 대신하게하다
• clause 조항/절
• make noises 직접 말하지 않고 돌려서 말하다 (구체적이지 않고 추상적)
• take a whack at 이제 해 볼 차례다, 홱 때리다, 시도 해보다
• with bells on (I'll be there with bells on. 즐길 준비 된, with enthusiasm.

I knew the magnitude of the performance. That's why I did a dry run prior to the performance. Now I found a stage, entered into the contract - I added a few clauses on it. I couldn't afford to farm everything out to delegates, I gotta do most of the parts on my own. I remember how bleak it was when I first ran the show back in LA. Without any audience, I was obliged to carry on with the show. Once I was mandated to dismiss the show by the local police, and once I was kicked out from a stage. Whatever happened, I did my bit. Whatever you want to achieve, I recommend you to take a whack at it, before you give up. If you one day run a show, I'll be there with bells on. 

the magnitude of the problem. / the magnitude of the task / the magnitude of an earthquake
These are issues of great magnitude.

She felt obliged to be nice to Jack because he's her boss. 

The economic outlook is bleak. even bleaker.
The house stands on a bleak hilltop.
Without a job, the future looked bleak.

They have added/deleted/amended a clause in the contract

whack 은 휘둘렀을 때 나는 홱 소리를 딴 imitative word 다. 

• in full swing 최고조의
• roll back 가격을 낮추다 비용을 낮추다
• ease off = something unpleasant or annoying eases off => become less unpleasant
• the final/ last straw 나쁜 일을 감당할 수 있는 한계
• on the rise 증가하는
• expat (expatriate) 다른 나라에 사는 사람
• live beyond one's means 분수에 안맞게 사는
• within their means 분수에 맞게 사는
• tack on 끼얹다, 더하다 (계획되지 않았거나 안어울리는데 추가된것)
• by dint of = as a result of 
• nitty gritty 기본적이고 필수적인 것, 기본적 사실 (get down to nitty gritty)
• by nature 태생적으로 
• look at someone dead in the eye 눈을 똑바로 보다 (주로 심각하게)

My anxiety is in full swing. No, it's been still on the rise The recent rejection was the last straw. I'm isolated and I have nothing helps me distract from the emotion. I'm so caught up in this situation. I keep second guessing myself and that blame towards myself tack on more anxiety, it's a cycle. I thought I was an eternal optimist by nature. I looked at myself in the mirror dead in the eye. What's wrong with you? I turned on YouTube and watched videos of people who are in the same situation. It's time to get down to nitty gritty of the process. I'm lazy. This might be the most biggest problem.  Do I wnat to live beyond my means? Why do I have to be an expat? Isn't it easy to live here in my country? Accept the reality and live within my means. By dint of self reflection, some new plans has been added. I need to take initiative, I can't just wait until the government rolls back the tax.

When we arrived, the party was in full swing and the dance floor was crowded.
The international rugby season is in full swing.

The governor plans to roll property taxes back.

If the rain eases off overnight, we'll leave in the morning.
The pain should ease off after a couple of hours.

Tacking a 32% surcharge on these products prices them out of US markets

I don't think she is a vicious person by nature. Growing up in an abusive household just took a toll on her.

• rustle up (특히 먹을 거, 음식) 빨리 만들어 제공하다 - 사전 계획 없던 것을 제공해 주는 느낌, 담요 등도 됨
• ride out something 힘든 시간 등을 잘 견뎌내다
• delegate 대표자, 위임자
• cut loose 마음대로 하면서 즐기다, 통제나 영향권에서 벗어나다
• strain every nerve = to make the greatest possible effort
• impertinent 부적절하게 행동하다 (특히 연장자나 높은 자리 사람에게)
• come of age 성인이되다, 성숙하다 (발전된 상태가 되다)
• wait up for 안자고 기다리다
• bear out 뒷받침하다
• on average = usually
• wear and tear 닳음 (take a lot of wear and tear)
• call it a tie 비겼다 치다

You're riding out this difficult time very well. Just I should know it's time to do things right. I can't say I strained every nerve. I'm aware of that there are poeple out there who try until they see the wear and tear of their laptop keyboards. I didn't do that much and the results aren't what I want, so let's call it a tie. Small companies, on average, like me and big corporations which came of age don't even show any reactions. And with a few interviews, I realised I need to prepare proofs that would bear out what I say. Of course no impertinent remarks are allowed. Once I get a job, I hope I could take a vacations with friends and cut loose. One thing I was advised is in the interview, I need to gauge their maturity as well, so I should keep my eyes on if they rustle up things for the interviewees and how they select delegate. Last night I was emailing back and forth with a recruiter in America, I waited up for the reply because of the time difference. 

Delegate **********
Authority to make financail decisions has been delegated to a special committee.
Each union elects several delegates to the annual conference.

an impertinent remark / question

It will take time for this program to come of age.
coming-of-age ceremony 성인식

• out of work (a job) = an out-of-work designer
• appeal to 긴급하게 간곡하게 부탁하다, 요청하다 // 호기심이나 감상이 어필되다
• pay good money for (주로 그만한 가치 없는 것에) 많은 돈을 썼다.
• butt dial 의도치않게 걸린 전화 (엉덩이 주머니에 있다가 걸린 전화 라는 뜻)
• comb through 뭐 사이에서 신중히 찾다
• indulgence 충족
• a morsel of / a morsel 한입의, 매우 작은 조각의 음식
• epitome / -is the epitome of - / -의 가장 좋은 예
• in effect, this means~ 사실상
• pin one's hopes on - 애 기대를 걸다
• pride and joy 자랑거리
• crushed 많이 충격받다

I've been always my parents pride and joy. I was a good student, and now a good daughter for them; I give them decent amount of money every month. I take them to a gourmet place every payday, and pay good money for a morsel, this is the lifestyle my parents and I, and all of avarage korean people persue. This is the epitome of happy family I always pictured. And today, when I went to office as always, my boss gave me a forceful 1 year break. It was, in effect, a layoff. I was crushed. I appealed to him to take it back, but they were very decisive. I'm now out of job. My parents really rest on my income. I needed a job, I combed through the available jobs but nothing appealed to me but this one. I only applied to one position, and I'm pinning my hopes on this particular one. Earlier today, they called me and apolozied they butt dialed. But luckly I could get a chance to pitch my career and I got an interview. I indulged myself to a nice dinner as a celebration. It will all work out well itself. 

어필의 두 가지 용법
I appealed to the boss for more time, in light of the printing issue.
Tall guys always appel to me / sushi just doesn't appeal to me.

comb through
I combed through my bag in search of my glasses and they were on my head the whole time!
I combed through all my belongings.
Our lawyers are combing through the contact.

indulge
indulge myself with greasy food.
Looking for an excuse to indulge in a chocolate treat? / indulge in some shopping. / in gossip
- / indulgent relatives 완전 잘해주는 친척 - overly generous